


Life was Simpler Before I Found out I was Gay

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Consensual Underage Sex, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Secret Relationship, only marked as underage because they are in high school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Junsu is home from Japan. He's missed his friends and his brother, but while he was gone, he learned something about himself, and he knows he can't tell them. And then he meets Jaejoong.
Relationships: Kim Jaejoong/Kim Junsu (JYJ), Park Yoochun/Shim Changmin
Kudos: 1





	1. Hiding

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

"Here! Here! Ho!"

Junsu lifts his hand as he pelts across the field. Yunho sees him, and at just the right time, Yunho kicks the soccer ball and sends it over the defender’s head. Junsu has to stop, the kick behind him. The ball hits his foot, cradled, and then drops to the ground. Junsu's eyes see all, the defender on this right, speeding up, but he won't make it. He dribbles the ball close, eyes on the goal. Another defender tries to cut him off, but with a twist and a fake and a light tap, he pushes the ball past him. He fakes a kick to the left, and then sends the ball to the right. The goalie takes his feint as does the last defender between them. But the ball hits the post and soars high and out of bounds.

Junsu throws his head back in disbelief and his teammates curse behind him.

"That so should have gone in!" Yunho shouts.

Junsu trots over to him and pats his shoulder. "Sorry. I thought I had it. Nice pass."

Yunho nods. "Eh, we're still winning." He makes a face at Changmin, who's playing on the other team.

Changmin smirks. "Only by a goal, hyung."

Their conversation stops as Hyunjoong kicks the ball from the corner and play starts again.

Junsu finds himself paired up with brother, defending him, trying to steal the ball, but because Junho is two minutes older than him, and they spent all their childhood playing together, Junho knows his tricks and pushes Junsu harder than is really allowed and they end up kicking at each other more than the ball.

Junsu finally gets it away and sends a backwards pass to Eunhyuk and his other best friend since childhood crows in victory and takes it down field. His kick is true, meeting up with Yunho's foot perfectly, and the ball is reflected off, and just barely grazes Seungri's outstretched fingers before sailing into the goal.

Junsu cries out and Junho makes a face at him as he trots by to congratulate Yunho and Eunhyuk.

Their game at the park ends with Junsu's team winning by a goal and they all crowd into a ramen shop so the losers can buy dinner.

"Damn," Changmin says. "You guys never win. You're lucky Junsu is back from Japan."

Yunho grins and tries to eat a mouthful of ramen at the same time. "You guys just suck."

Junho laughs and punches Junsu in the shoulder. "Yeah, Junsu isn't a threat. He's a pansy."

Junsu punches him back. "Shut it, _hyung_. You guys better get used to losing."

Hyunjoong groans suddenly and puts his head on the table.

"What?" Yunho asks and rubs his back.

"School on Monday."

Everyone at the table groans and Eunhyuk smacks him. "God, don't remind us."

Junsu won't say it, but he is excited to go back to school, be around Koreans. Studying in Japan for a semester was a great opportunity, but he is so glad to be home.

\---

Junsu lay in bed Sunday night, too excited and pent up to sleep. Nights like this in Japan weren't nearly as bad as they are here. Because Tegoshi was in Japan and Tegoshi had amazing lips and an even more amazing throat, and any time Junsu had problems sleeping, Tegoshi hadn't minded helping relax him.

Junsu groans as the ghost-pulse feeling of Tegoshi's throat hardens his cock. He shoots a look at his brother's bed across the room. Junho is asleep. Hopefully. Even if he isn't, Junsu will stroke himself off. He just has to be careful not to shout or moan someone's name as he comes, because Junho does not need to know that secret.

He wraps his fingers around his cock and strokes up, sighing as pleasure runs through him. He licks the fingertips of his other hand and slides them over a nipple. The double-pleasure grows. He strokes faster, pinching his nipple, biting his lower lip against noises.

He imagines Tegoshi on his knees, those red lips darkened around his cock, eyes shut as their other roommate Ryo grows tired of watching and starts fingering Tegoshi's entrance. The guy is a self-proclaimed slut and Junsu had definitely taken advantage of that. He trails his hand down his chest, scratching the curves of his muscles. He bends his legs and cups his balls, imagining Tegoshi's fingers slick with his own spit massaging and squeezing them while he sucks on Junsu.

Junsu gasps. His orgasm rolls through his muscles and skin. He shuts his eyes against the swirling of the ceiling. He bites down on his lip, though it didn't quite mask his shout or his moan as he finally comes. Warmth splatters on his stomach, and he tries to curb his breathing.

"Wow, that was quick," Junho whispers. "Girls must be eager to bend over in Japan."

Junsu snorts. "Yeah," he says, breath still short.

"What's her name?"

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Because. I'm still in a post-orgasm haze and my brother is asking me sex questions. It's weird."

Junho laughs. "You lose your virginity in Japan?"

Junsu remembers the feel of Tegoshi's ass clenching around his cock and shivers. "Yeah."

"Come on, what's her name?"

Junsu wonders for a moment if he can tell Junho his secret, and then he chickens out. "Miho," he says, remembering the name of Ryo's girlfriend.

"Is she pretty?"

Mind full of Tegoshi, Junsu nods. "Very, very pretty."

\---

"Junsu had a girlfriend," Junho says as soon as they meet up with Yunho, Eunhyuk and Changmin at school.

The others open their mouths in shock, but Changmin smirks at him. Junsu blushes, shoves his brother and tells him to shut up.

"Her name was Miho," Junho continues, and Changmin definitely looks interested and Junsu curses, because he remembers when he called Changmin once and told him all about Ryo and Miho's open relationship.

"Shut up," Junsu snaps again. They make fun of him and push him around as they head to their first class. Junsu is very glad he's smarter than most of his friends. He and Changmin turn down a different hall and head to their advanced physics class. Many students would have said advanced physics at eight in the morning on the first day of classes is bordering on torture, but Junsu loves it.

"So what's her real name?" Changmin says with a smirk. "Or should I say his name?"

"Shut up," Junsu grumbles. He's not surprised that Changmin figured him out so fast. Changmin has always been more observant than most.

"Come on, just tell me his name."

Junsu sighs and digs his phone out. He scrolls through his pictures and finds the one of him and Tegoshi. They were lying naked on the bed, though only their shoulders are showing in the picture. But their hair is mussed, lips red and kiss-bruised. And a single dollop of come is visible on Tegoshi's skin. He shows it to Changmin.

Changmin's eyes went wide and then he whistled. "Pretty."

"Yeah. His name is Tegoshi."

"Sexy. So is he your--"

"No. He's everyone's."

Changmin laughs as they enter their classroom. "You better tell me all about it, or I'll tell everyone about it."

Junsu rolls his eyes. "Fine. After school or something."

\---

Junho and Yunho and Eunhyuk stop teasing him about this girl long enough to eat lunch..

Junsu lets his eyes wander around the campus. It is a warm spring day. Perfect for a game, and as soon as everyone finishes eating, that's what they do. They use backpacks for goal posts and commandeer a stretch of grass to play. Junsu takes off his school jacket.

Yunho plays goalie while Eunhyuk and Junsu embarrass Junho and Hyunjoong with their foot skills. Changmin has a lot of work to do as goalie, but enough get by him that by the time class is about to start, Junsu's team has won again.

"God, go back to Japan," Junho says.

Junsu sticks his tongue out at him.

"Is that how you kiss your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, and she probably shuts her eyes tight so she doesn't have to look at you," Changmin says. "Or you do."

"God, how many times do I have to tell you guys to shut up?"

They laugh. Changmin suddenly cups his ass and whispers. "I bet _she_ likes this part of you the most."

Junsu swats him away. They gather their things and head back to the building. Most of the students have gone in already, but Junsu's gaze falls on a student standing by himself. He lifts a cigarette to his mouth and takes a drag. Their eyes meet and Junsu's vision blurs. Dark eyes, black hair, cold look, pale skin. His uniform hangs off him, shirt untucked, tie loose.

"Who's that?" Junsu asks.

Yunho and Junho follow his gaze and then snort in unison.

"Oh, that's Kim Jaejoong," Changmin says. "You should talk to him. He's from Japan."

Junsu turns and stares at him.

Changmin continues, "He's Korean, but his dad worked in Japan for most of his life. He moved in right after you left for Japan."

"Guy's an asshole," Eunhyuk mutters.

Changmin rolls his eyes. "He's quiet," he says as they enter the school, "but very humble and very polite."

Junsu turns to get one last look at the guy. He’s still watching them.

"He's an asshole," Yunho says.

Changmin shakes his head. "Just because he's gay, doesn't--"

"He's gay?" Junsu asks.

Changmin grins. "Yes. He is. Very out about it, too. No one else in school is, and the only one he hangs out with is Yoochun because Yoochun doesn't give a shit."

"Being gay doesn't make you an asshole," Junsu says to Yunho.

Junho rolls his eyes. "No, it just makes you disgusting. You know, if he--."

"Whatever, Ho. Fuck you all," Junsu says, upset for reasons he's not going to tell them. He stalks away, very glad he hadn't told his brother last night.

He's in a bad mood for the rest of the day, and only talks to Changmin during breaks. After a few minutes, Junho and Yunho give up and move to a different table to talk to Hyunjoong and Jungmin. Junsu leaves early and heads to his last class: Japanese history and literature.

When he enters the class, conversation stops. The teacher smiles at him. She's Japanese.

Junsu bows. “Konnichiwa, sensei.” _Good afternoon, teacher._

“Konnichiwa. Junsu kun, genki desu ka?” _Good afternoon. How are you, Junsu-kun?_

“Hai, genki desu.” _I am well._

Junsu flows into Japanese easily. She points him to his seat and he walks there. His body wants to stop as he sees Jaejoong and Yoochun sitting at the same table, and then he sits.

Yoochun smiles at him, but Jaejoong's face stays blank. Up close the man is even prettier, and Junsu has a hard time breathing under his steady gaze. His hair is dark, dyed-black, but it shines, and when light hits it, there are deep blue undertones. There are earrings in his ears, and a hole for one in his lip. Junsu wants to caress that face, watch those eyelashes flutter. He tries to smile.

"Hey, Junsu," Yoochun says. "Haven't had a chance to welcome you home."

Junsu pries his eyes away from the dark, endless stare. "Thanks."

"This is Kim Jaejoong."

Junsu nods his head and Jaejoong nods back. “Doko kara kita no desu ka?” Junsu asks. _Where are you from?_

A flicker of a smile flits over his lips as he replies, "Nagasaki."

Junsu smiles. "Boku wa tokyo ni ikinde ita." _I lived in Tokyo._

"Oh, that’s right." Yoochun says to Jaejoong in Korean. "I forgot to tell you before. Junsu spent the last six months in Japan."

"I miss it," Junsu says.

Jaejoong finally smiles, sad and forlorn. "Me too."

After that, Jaejoong doesn't seem as withdrawn. Junsu can't concentrate, and keeps staring at Jaejoong through class. The beautiful man notices, cheeks red, but he's smiling about it.

At one point, Yoochun snorts and whispers, "This isn't a class about Jaejoong."

"It should be," Junsu whispers back, but Jaejoong can hear and the red in his cheeks deepens.

"You'd definitely pass the see how long you can stare at him without blinking test."

Junsu finally looks away and glares at Yoochun.

"I-I don't mind," Jaejoong says. His voice is so soft. His Korean is accented: closed, lazy almost.

Junsu smiles at Jaejoong even though the other isn't looking, and by the end of class, Junsu has no idea what the teacher said.

"You want to come with us, Junsu?" Yoochun asks as they gather their things.

"Um, sorry, where?"

Yoochun rolls his eyes. He snaps his fingers in front of Junsu's face. Junsu turns and looks at him.

Yoochun tries not to smile and says, "We're going to go to Harmony and get some coffee."

Junsu looks at Jaejoong and says yes without thinking.

Jaejoong smiles. "Let's meet outside in a few minutes. I have to use the bathroom."

"Okay," Junsu says. They part ways and Junsu goes to his locker.

"Bro!" Junho shouts in English.

Junsu doesn't turn around or look at them as Junho and Yunho catch up to him. Eunhyuk jogs up to them as soon as they get outside and a few moments later, Changmin joins them.

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" Junho tosses a soccer ball in his hands.

"Yeah, no thanks," Junsu says, eyes on the doors.

"Are you still mad?" Junho demands and throws the ball at him. Junsu ducks and Eunhyuk just barely catches it with an oof.

"Fuck off," Junsu says.

"Dude, what are mad for?" Yunho asks.

"Junsu!"

Junsu looks around and sees Yoochun and Jaejoong down the sidewalk. He waves at them, smiles and turns to his friends. "I already have plans. I'll see you guys later."

"Wait, what?" Junho grabs his arm.

Junsu yanks it away. "I'm sorry, but I'd rather hang out with people who aren't bigoted, ignorant assholes."

"Fuck you," Yunho says.

Junsu walks away.

"Fine whatever. Come on guys, let's go."

Junsu doesn't realize Changmin followed him until their shoulders brush. "What do you want?" Junsu asks.

Changmin grins. "Yoochun."

Junsu stares at him, smiles and then shakes his head.

"Hey, Changmin," Yoochun says, eyes darkening as they rove over Changmin's body.

Junsu can't keep his gaze off Jaejoong. The beauty brings a cigarette to his lips and takes a drag. Junsu reaches out, wordlessly asking for a drag. Jaejoong smiles and hands it over. It's been weeks since Junsu had a cigarette; the immediate feel of smoke in his lungs and nicotine in his blood makes him smile wider. He puffs out a plume of smoke and hands the cigarette back.

"Thanks."

Jaejoong puts the cigarette to his lips.

"Indirect kiss," Yoochun sings, making Junsu blush.

Jaejoong smiles.

"You're fighting with Junho?" Yoochun says looking by him.

Junsu turns around and sees his brother and Yunho still glaring at him. Junsu shrugs.

"They called Jaejoong an asshole just because he's gay," Changmin says. "It pissed me off, too."

Jaejoong shrugs. "You get used to it."

"You shouldn't have to," Junsu defends.

"In a perfect world. I need coffee. Let's go."

Junsu shoves his hands in his pockets as they head off campus, brooding about his brother's attitude. There’s no way he’s ever going to tell Junho about this. He walks next to Jaejoong, not realizing that Yoochun and Changmin have dropped back until Jaejoong clears his throat. Junsu looks up in surprise and then clears his throat.

"You all right?" Jaejoong asks. Japanese again.

Junsu nods. "Yeah, just ... my brother is a dick. I'm sorry."

Jaejoong shrugs. "It happens."

"Yeah. That's ... that's what I'm afraid of." Junsu sighs. "We have more in common than just speaking Japanese."

Jaejoong sort of smiles and nods. "Figured."

"Life was simpler before I found out I was gay."

"So Junho doesn't know?"

"No. Only Changmin, and that's because he's too smart for his own good." Junsu turns and says that loud enough for Changmin to hear.

Changmin swears at him.

Jaejoong chuckles. "I like Changmin. But he's not my type."

"What is your type?"

Jaejoong grins at Junsu but says nothing else until they arrive at the Harmony Cafe. There are a lot of students inside, so they order coffee and then pull up a patch of grass outside. Junsu leans back, arms behind his head. The heat from the afternoon is fading, but it's still warm enough to take off his jacket. Again, he doesn't realize that YooMin have moved away from them until Jaejoong sits next to him. A little too close, but Junsu doesn't tell him to move.

He hands Junsu a cigarette, and Junsu takes a single drag. He hands it back and stares at Jaejoong's lips. The missing piercing is in his lower lip. There is a blue jewel at the end of it. Junsu licks his lips, because he wants to play with it. He wonders if Jaejoong will let him, and decides to find out.

He reaches up and tugs on the piercing. Jaejoong lets out a burst of startled laughter and sucks the lip into his mouth.

"Sorry. It's sparkly."

Jaejoong covers his mouth with his hand, eyes bright with mirth. Junsu turns away, cheeks hot and smiles.

"You got anything I can play with?" Jaejoong whispers. "Anything to tug on?"

Junsu's eyes go wide and then he moans as his cock obviously twitches in his khakis. Jaejoong laughs and then lies next to him. It's a bit easier for Junsu to breathe since he can't see Jaejoong anymore, but his presence is obvious. Glaring. Next to him, and he gives up trying to keep his cock in control.

"So. Gay or Bi?" Jaejoong asks.

Junsu has to swallow as he replies, "Gay."

"Top or bottom?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm used to topping though."

"Ah, versatile. Nice."

"What about you?"

"Flaming gay and a cock whore."

Junsu laughs.

"So since you're the only other gay guy at school I know, should we do the inevitable and hook up?"

Junsu dares a glance over at him. Jaejoong is staring at the sky. He brings the burning cigarette up to his mouth. Seeing Jaejoong naked is something Junsu will not mind at all.

"Your place or mine?" Junsu asks.

Jaejoong laughs. "Better make it mine. I don't have any siblings at home, and my parents know I'm gay."

"Definitely yours then."

Changmin suddenly laughs and Junsu props up on his elbows to look at them. Yoochun is on his back with Changmin leaning over him. His fingers are playing with the buttons in Yoochun's shirt.

"So Yoochun's not gay?"

"He doesn't care about gender. He prefers girls though. And Changmin apparently."

Junsu smiles and lays back down. He uses the movement to slide closer to Jaejoong, and Jaejoong notices and grins at him.

"It's definitely not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but the hardest part of coming out is just saying it."

Junsu nods. "Yeah. But I don’t think I’ll ever tell Junho."

"Hey, you guys want to go to a movie?" Yoochun asks.

Junsu meets Jaejoong's eyes and Jaejoong says, "No. You guys go. We're going to hang out for a little while."

"Which means you're going to fuck," Changmin offers with a grin.

"And that shows that you don't know what kind of movies Yoochun prefers watching," Jaejoong says.

"What kinds?" Changmin asks, though his smirk says he can figure it out on his own.

"Low on plot, heavy on skin."

Changmin grins at Yoochun. "Sounds good. I happen to have a few of those at my house. Want to come over and watch them?"

Yoochun laughs. "Sure."

"Wear a rubber," Jaejoong says.

"I will," they both say and then look at each other.

"We're going to have to talk about this," Yoochun says.

Changmin scoffs. “There’s nothing to talk about. You’re bottoming.”

“Yeah. I don’t think so.”

Jaejoong and Junsu laugh. Yoochun flips them off and leads Changmin away as they discuss the pros and cons of using rock paper scissors to decide who bottoms.

"Should we follow their example?" Jaejoong asks.

Junsu smiles. "I thought I was topping."

Jaejoong laughs. "Damn right. Let's go."

They stand up and gather their backpacks and jackets. They walk in silence and share another cigarette. Junsu smiles to himself. He didn't think he'd be getting laid any time soon. Not in Korea. Tegoshi kept him up for hours the night before he left so he'd get enough sex to last him for a few weeks.

"What are you smiling for?" Jaejoong asks.

Junsu meets his eyes and then gestures toward his erection.

Jaejoong laughs, throws his arm around Junsu’s shoulders and says, “We better go take care of that.”


	2. Escaping

They talk about Japan all the way to Jaejoong’s house, and sometime in the middle, they each say they should go back together. Take a vacation sometime. After high school, before college maybe. It’s a weird conversation for Junsu because they don’t even know each other, but for some reason that doesn’t matter. Jaejoong’s house is about fifteen minutes from the cafe. His parent’s aren’t home.

They slip their shoes off at the door and then head upstairs to Jaejoong’s room. For some reason, Junsu expects the room to be spotless, in control and confident like Jaejoong is, but there are clothes everywhere and books piled high on his desk. Posters of Korean and Japanese music groups overlap each other on the walls.

Jaejoong shoves everything on the bed onto the floor and then sits.

Junsu stares at him from the door. That cold look is back on his face, pondering, examining. Junsu wonders how he measures up. Then Jaejoong smiles and holds out his hand. Junsu walks over to him, still half in a daze, because this is so weird. He wants to see Jaejoong naked, see his eyes dark with lust and need. Feel the heat of his skin against his, but it’s slightly awkward. Maybe it’s because it’s too soon.

Jaejoong snags him by the jacket, pulling him over and between his spread legs. He tugs Junsu’s shirt out from his pants and unbuttons it. Junsu slides his jacket off his shoulders and the shirt follows right after.

Jaejoong sighs, half whimpers as his hands push at Junsu’s t-shirt. He takes it off, breath catching as Jaejoong undoes his pants at the same time. A little bubble of panic creeps up his spine, and Junsu feels like he should stop this. God, he just met Jaejoong, but Jaejoong grips the top of his pants and boxers and yanks both of them down to his thighs.

Junsu stops breathing as he watches through pleasure-blurred eyes. Jaejoong stares at his cock, tongue peeking out of his mouth. His hand reaches up and then soft, soft fingers wrap around the base, half stroking. It is very reminiscent of Tegoshi, but Jaejoong is much prettier. Jaejoong’s eyes slip shut, his mouth opens. His lips slip warm over the head of Junsu’s cock, and Junsu can’t watch anymore. He tilts his head back with a gasp, eyes shut, as Jaejoong’s mouth takes him in. Warm, tight, slick heat. The piercing adds an interesting sensation. It almost ruins the steady throb, but drags more pleasure though him.

Jaejoong’s hand stays at the base, but his fingers curl and fondle his sac. Another twist has Junsu’s eyes flying open, hips jerking forward. Jaejoong doesn’t gag and takes the rest of him deeply, tightening his mouth with a moan.

“Fuck,” Junsu whispers.

Jaejoong smiles. His eyes roll up and his gaze bores into Junsu’s.

“You’re going to make me come,” he says, breathless.

Jaejoong chuckles. He pulls away until just his lips are against the soft crown of Junsu’s cock. “Isn’t that the point?” he says. His tongue digs into the slit and then he bobs his head forward, taking all of Junsu quickly.

Junsu cries out, gripping Jaejoong’s shoulders as his knees shake. His orgasm coils through him, burning low in his stomach. Jaejoong tempts it up with every trip down his throat. A hand slides off Junsu’s hip and curls around his body, fingers gripping his ass. Jaejoong yanks him forward. Junsu whines, mouth open, eyes trying to stay open, trying to imprint the vision of Jaejoong’s pink lips on his cock into his mind. But he can barely stand, and his knees give as he cries out. They land on the edge of the bed and his cock slips from Jaejoong’s mouth as he orgasms. A hand covers him quickly stroking him through it, and then Jaejoong’s tongue licks at the head. Junsu opens his eyes at the last moment to watch as the last few pulses of come cover Jaejoong’s lips and chin.

Their eyes meet and Jaejoong licks his lips, and the head of Junsu’s cock.

Junsu moans and, limbs liquid, lets Jaejoong guide him down to the bed. Jaejoong stands up on shaky legs, his erection on display, trapped in his pants. Junsu reaches for it and puts his fingers around it weakly.

Jaejoong shivers and smiles down at him. “You said it doesn’t matter, right?”

Junsu nods. “But you’re a cock whore.”

Jaejoong laughs. He moves across the room to his dresser and opens the second drawer. He rummages in it for a moment and then turns with a grin. He holds up his hand. In his fingers is something round and blue. A wire hangs down from it, ending in a little blue box. A bullet. Junsu shivers in anticipation. <http://www.xmybox.com/images/image/XB_ProductDes/Droplet/droplet_02.jpg>

In his other hand is lube. He sits on the edge of the bed and opens the lube. He pours some into his palm and then covers the toy in it.

Junsu’s curiosity is high. Jaejoong looks at him and smiles. His slick hand rubs up and down Junsu’s cock. Junsu moans and then lifts his legs as Jaejoong grabs his balls. The toy slides underneath them, and then starts vibrating. Junsu really moans and lifts his legs higher. Jaejoong laughs as he runs the toy up and down Junsu’s cleft.

“Fuck, Jaejoong.”

“Want it inside you?”

“God, yes.”

Jaejoong presses the toy at his entrance, and Junsu’s eyes cross as his body clenches. Jaejoong rolls it around, twists and plays with his opening, until Junsu is whimpering and trying not to squirm. His cock is hard against his stomach again, leaving puddles of precome. With a little push, the toy slips past the barrier of muscles and vibrates just inside him.

Junsu cried out, head back. His fingers grip the back of his thighs, and then he moans as Jaejoong’s fingers push the toy deeper, twisting it deeper. The vibrations increase.

“Good idea?” Jaejoong asks.

Junsu nods frantically. “Fuck. Sure you don’t want to top?”

Jaejoong chuckles. “No. Watch me.”

Junsu manages to open an eye as Jaejoong stands up. He relaxes his legs, laying them flat. The toy stays inside him.

Jaejoong moves across the room again and plugs his iPod into the jack. A moment later a steady beat of pop music bumps around the room. Jaejoong turns just his head and smiles. His hips jerk back and forth to the beat. His jacket falls to the floor.

“Fuck,” Junsu whispers as Jaejoong’s arms and hands rove around his body. Moments later, his white school shirt drops to the ground. Jaejoong’s muscles are amazing. All Junsu can see are his shoulder and arms, but god damn. He says that out loud too.

Jaejoong finally turns around. He dances to the bed, spins and turns. His hands tease the bottom of his tank top, pulling it up to reveal ripped abs and a tiny waist. Junsu licks his lips, eyes soaking up the show, but instead of taking the shirt off, his hands drop and he unbuttons his pants. His cock is hard, pressed against the fabric. Jaejoong stops at the end of the bed. He reaches a hand into his pants and strokes himself in time to the beat. His hips are still swaying and the pants lower slowly with each movement.

Junsu can’t help it and he strokes his cock. Jae’s legs are lean and smooth. Not a trace of hair, and anticipation on seeing the rest of him fills Junsu’s body, and makes more liquid pump from his cock.

Jaejoong smiles and then steps out of his pants. His hands tease the band of his boxers, and then the shirt, back and forth, until Junsu is whimpering.

“What?” Jaejoong asks with a smirk.

“Naked. Get fucking naked,” Junsu demands, hand squeezing his cock. He has to forcefully take his hand from his cock so he won’t come from the show and the vibrations.

Jaejoong laughs and takes the shirt off. He teases the boxers down, little by little and then his eyes widen and he stops, turning.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Junsu says and gets up quickly. He grabs Jaejoong by the arm and yanks him to the bed. Jaejoong lands with an oof. Junsu shivers as he crawls over Jaejoong, the toy shifts inside him. He practically tears the boxers off Jaejoong and then straddles his hips and runs his hands up and down his amazing body. His left nipple is pierced and there’s a tattoo of a dragon wrapped around the other one. Junsu pauses and runs his hand over it. One of the dragon’s claws is curled around the nipple, almost like … Junsu pinches Jaejoong hard.

Jaejoong moans, hips shifting.

Junsu lowers his head and takes that nipple in his mouth. He plays with the other one, flicking the barbell harshly.

“Fuck, Junsu-ah.” Jaejoong’s hands settle in his hair.

Junsu continues down with his mouth, running his tongues over the ridges of Jaejoong’s abs. His skin jerks with each new kiss. He whimpers with each new touch. His body is completely smooth, and Junsu spends a long time running his tongue over the bend in Jae’s hip and down around his balls.

“Oh, you fucking tease,” Jaejoong gasps. “Taste me. Lick me. God damn.”

Junsu decides that’s a good idea; he wants to taste Jaejoong. He licks up the length of his cock once and then holds him steady, cock pointed up, before running his tongue around the crown and putting the head into his mouth. He doesn’t tease like Jaejoong did. He takes the cock into his mouth and then throat, over and over, gripping the shaft tightly as spit gathers and everything is wet, slurping, slick.

Junsu wants to come so much. The toy feels like it’s filling him completely with every vibration, growing and curling.

Jaejoong’s hands grip his hair and he yanks Junsu off his cock. Junsu growls.

Jae’s eyes are shut, mouth open, chest heaving. “Fuck me,” he gasps. “God, fuck me.”

“No problem. Condom?”

“Drawer.”

Junsu rolls off his and stands up. The toy inside him is suddenly yanked out. He yelps and spins to Jaejoong. The beauty smirks and twirls the toy around his finger. “Hurry back.”

Junsu shivers and quickly moves to the dresser and opens the second drawer. There are folded jeans on one half and toys on the other. Dildos and gags and cock rings and handcuffs. Junsu’s cock twitches. He grabs the box of condoms and a string of anal beads and heads back to the bed.

Jaejoong already has two fingers in his ass, glistening with lube, stretching, opening.

Junsu tsks as he climbs back on the bed. He pushes at Jaejoong’s bent knees and Jaejoong’s lifts them. He takes the vibrating toy and runs it over Jaejoong’s lips. His lips part with a moan and he licks at the toy, shivering with the vibrations. Junsu lowers it down his neck, across his collarbones. He squirts lube right on Jaejoong’s pierced nipple and twirls the toy around and around. He lightly grips Jaejoong’s cock while he tortures Jaejoong’s sensitive skin with the toy.

“God, damn, Junsu.” Jaejoong is panting by the time Junsu teases his entrance. His head flies back with a moan. His hips roll down, his hands grip behind his knees and he holds himself open and begs with little mewls.

Junsu chuckles as he takes the toy away. Jaejoong whines, eyes glaring. Junsu laughs. He lifts the toy to his mouth and licks it once before lowering his hand. He reaches behind him and with a minor adjustment, the toy is back inside him, vibrating and humming and making his eyes shut tight.

“Fuck me, damn it.” Jaejoong almost shouts.

Junsu shakes his head. It takes a moment for him to get used to the vibrations again. He coats the blue anal beads with lube. Jaejoong is whining his name, over and over. Junsu slips the first bead inside Jaejoong and his hips jerk up, head pressing against the bed. He teases Jaejoong’s puckered entrance before shoving the second inside him.

“God, Junsu, please, please. I … I’m going to come, pl-please.”

Junsu forces the next two beads into him at once. “You need to be prepped,” he says. Junsu teases again with the next bead. In and out, shallow, spinning and twisting. Jaejoong is a mess. There is a sheen of sweat on his stomach, heavy drops in the space between his pec muscles. Junsu lowers his head enough to put the final bead in his mouth. He uses his tongue to push it inside Jaejoong. His body clenches around Junsu’s tongue and Jaejoong cries out, hand flying to his cock to squeeze the base and stave off his orgasm.

“Fuck me, you fucking bastard!”

Junsu chuckles. “Okay, okay.” He kneels and with no teasing yanks the toy from Jae’s body. Jaejoong screams, eyes shut tight. Junsu takes a condom from the box and tears it open. He rolls it onto his cock and decides that yes, fucking Jaejoong is a good idea, because he’s about to come again. He coats it with a liberal amount of lube. He strokes himself twice and then with one hand on Jaejoong’s thigh, guides himself into Jaejoong’s begging entrance. It’s tight and his eyes squeeze shut, but Jae sucks him in. They both moan as Junsu settles deep inside him. Junsu grips behind Jaejoong’s knees and moves, in and out, quick. Jaejoong’s hands fly above his head as he cries out. His fingers clench his headboard.

Junsu moves faster, because he is definitely going to come soon. He pounds into Jaejoong’s body, trying to keep his eyes open and memorize the way Jaejoong’s abs stand out, the way his cock twitches and jerks.

“Fuck, Junsu, fa-faster. Fuck me! Hard.”

Junsu’s eyes shut as pleasure rolls through him. The toy twists inside him and Jaejoong’s body tightens. Junsu speeds up, their bodies slap together. Jae is moaning or crying out with every thrust, grunting and then screaming as he comes. It’s almost like slow motion, even as Junsu moves faster. Jaejoong’s cock twitches, pulses, a bead of white pearls at the tip and then after another pulse, a long strand of come shoots and lands high on Jaejoong’s chest. The rest follows quickly, covering Jaejoong in come while his body clamps down on Junsu’s cock.

“Fuck!” Junsu shouts and he speeds up, trying to hit harder and deeper. His body is on edge and the blurring pleasure makes Junsu feel like he’s standing on the edge of the cliff in the rain and then he’s falling spiraling down and jerking as he hits bottom, coming hard, pressed against Jaejoong’s body. He collapses, body jerking as the toy continues to dance inside him and Jaejoong’s hole spasms, gripping, tight, loose.

Jaejoong’s breath is hot against his neck. After a moment, Junsu pushes himself up with a shaky apology. They both moan as Junsu’s cock shifts inside Jaejoong.

Jaejoong’s eyes are half shut. He smiles and lifts his head. Junsu meets him half way and their lips meet in their first kiss. A little backward, but Junsu doesn’t mind. Their tongues touch and then Junsu pulls Jaejoong’s lower lip into his mouth, sucking on the piercing. Jaejoong moans, and his hips roll. They both shudders as he slips from Jae’s body, and then Junsu shudders more as the toy jostles inside him. He breaks away from Jaejoong’s lips and gasps, eyes shutting.

Jaejoong props up on an elbow. “Round two?”

Junsu smiles and rolls off him. “In a while maybe,” he says and takes the condom off. His body convulses as he pulls the toy from him.

“I haven’t been fucked like that for weeks,” Jaejoong says.

“Um, you’re welcome, I guess,” Junsu replies.

Things feel awkward again, but Jaejoong smiles and cuddles up to his chest and yawns. “Stay and take a nap? I’ll make you dinner later?”

Junsu feels like he should leave, but Jaejoong’s skin is warm and god, his body needs to calm down anyway. He puts his arm around Jaejoong and lets himself relax.

\---

A few hours and a plate of kimchi jjigae later, Junsu is putting on his shoes to go home. Jaejoong wraps his arms around Junsu’s waist from behind. He tilts his head back and they kiss for a moment.

“I want you to know that I don’t like hiding my relationships,” Jaejoong said, “but I’ll make an exception for you if you want me to.”

Junsu turns and looks at him. “Relationship?”

Jaejoong shrugs. “Yeah. Be it serious, or just something fun. I like to kiss who I want to when I want to. I don’t like hiding.”

Junsu stares at him for a little while.

Jaejoong continues, “I know you’re not out yet, so when I see you tomorrow I will refrain from jumping you in the hall.”

Junsu smiles. “Thank you. Give me a week or so.”

Jaejoong nods. They kiss again and then Jaejoong sees him out. Junsu’s house isn’t too far away. He walks home in the dark. Earlier, he erased about twenty messages from his brother and his friends wondering where he was. Junsu thinks about it and then makes up his mind. He has to tell Junho. It feels so weird to keep something like this from his twin. He doesn’t want it to cause a rift in their relationship, and if he keeps lying to Junho, it will.

His mom is in the living room and he says hello, kissing her cheek before heading to his room.

Junho sits at the desk, reading a textbook. He jerks alert when Junsu shuts the door.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Out,” Junsu says. He slowly undresses.

Junho gasps. “Who gave you all those hickeys?”

Junsu meets his eyes and knows it’s now or never. He can tell Junho they were from some girl, but he doesn’t want to. He hates lying to his brother.

“I’m only telling you this because I don’t like lying to you, and I already lied to you once since I’ve been back.”

Junho crosses his arms.

Junsu can still hear Junho’s voice calling Jaejoong disgusting. He takes a deep breath. “These hickeys are from Jaejoong. I’ve been at his house for the last few hours.”

Junho’s eyes widen and then his mouth curls in disgust. “You … you’re …”

“Why do you think I got so mad at you and Yunho, huh?” Junsu walks by him and into the bathroom. He and Jaejoong took a shower, but he suddenly feels dirty again. Junho follows him. He doesn’t say anything, but Junsu feels his eyes on his back as he starts the shower.

“What did you tell me was a lie?” Junho asks. “Earlier.”

Junsu climbs into the shower and shuts the curtain. He sees Junho’s body shape move and sit on the sink.

“I lost my virginity to this guy named Tegoshi. He was my roommate.”

“Did he force you?”

Junsu rolls his eyes. “No, he didn’t force me. He was attractive, and a slut.”

“So do you like girls at all?” Junho asks, voice rising.

“Um, not really. I’ve been with girls if that’s your next question, but I prefer guys.”

“That’s …” Junho stops. He makes an irritated sound and then leaves the bathroom.

Junsu sighs and finishes his shower. He goes to the room. It’s dark and there’s a bundle on Junho’s bed. Junsu sighs again. He turns on a desk lamp only long enough to pull on sweats and then he climbs into bed.

“Will you give me a couple days to get used to this?” Junho asks.

“Yes.”

“O-okay.”

It takes Junsu a long time to fall asleep.

\---

Junho doesn’t wait for him, and Junsu walks to school alone. He drags his feet, not caring if he’s going to be late. This is the first time Junho has ever been so … … he’s not sure if he’s mad or what.

Junsu sighs. His phone vibrates and he takes it out to read the text message.

 _From: Genius_Maknae_ : **DUDE! Where are you? Junho and Jaejoong are fighting**

Junsu’s eyes go wide and he takes off at a run. He curses his brother and then realizes that Junho probably went up to Jaejoong to talk and Jaejoong said something stupid. It’s the way Jaejoong was, because Jaejoong wouldn’t put up with homophobic crap from anyone.

He slips into the gates a little early and sprints up the hill to the school. He calls Changmin out of breath and manages to ask where and then he hangs up and runs to the cafeteria. He barrels in the doors. A crowd of students are on the far side, but the only thing he hears is his brother.

“Look, you prissy faggot, just stay away from him. You got it? Stay the fuck away from--”

“Junho!” Junsu shouts and pushes his way through the students. They part for him, and he stops at the edge. Jaejoong is on his back, Junho straddling his waist. He has Jaejoong’s school jacket gripped in his hands. They both have black eyes.

Junsu moves forward, grabs his brother and hauls him off him. Junho growls at him and twists in his hold.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Junsu demands and slaps Junho’s cheek.

Junho glares at him, but when he tries to smack him back, Junsu shoves him against the wall. “How is this giving you a couple days to think it over, huh? How is this even trying to understand me?”

“He said you were nothing but a hot ass to fuck,” Junho says, trying to push Junsu away.

Junsu loosens his hold. “What?”

“I asked him what--”

“He didn’t ask,” Changmin says. “He walked up to Jaejoong, and said that he better not hurt you, and if he did hurt you, then Junho was going to beat him up. And then Jaejoong was all confused and said something like you were just a fuck and Junho inferred that as Jaejoong calling you a slut and then they started hitting each other.”

“Junho hit me first,” Jaejoong says.

Junsu sighs and looks at his brother. “Defending my honor, huh? In front of the whole school so now everyone knows I’m gay? Gee, thanks.”

The crowd of students tittered and whispered the information around.

“S-sorry, I … whatever.” Junho pushes Junsu away and Junsu lets him go. He stalks out of the cafeteria.

Arms wrap around him from behind. “He called me a prissy faggot.”

Junsu laughs and leans into Jaejoong’s arms. “So I heard. Come on. We’re going to be late for class.”

Jaejoong kisses his cheek. “Guess it’d be bad if we ditched on the second day.”

“Yeah.”

\-----

During lunch, Junsu thinks for a moment of going to sit with Jaejoong, but Junho is more important than him. He finds Junho, Yunho and Hyunjoong outside. Yunho is bouncing a soccer ball off his knee. He sits next to Junho. A few minutes later, Eunhyuk and Seungri join them.

“Where’s Changmin?” Seungri asks.

“Probably making out with Yoochun,” Hyunjoong says. “We caught them kissing in Yoochun’s car last night.”

Yunho snorts. Junho glares at him.

“Why aren’t you making out with Jaejoong?” Eunhyuk asks and pushes Junsu.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you were with him last night,” Hyunjoong says.

“So? When does a fuck equal love, huh? We satisfied a mutual need.”

“Can we not talk about this?” Junho asks.

Junsu shrugs. He finishes his lunch and then stands up and moves to Yunho. Yunho stops the ball, looks at Junsu and then looks away. He knocks the ball at Junsu and they kick it back and forth for a little while. The others soon join, and they form a wide circle. The ball stays in the air for a long time before a pretty girl walks by, says hello to Seungri and the ball hits him in the side of the face as he turns to watch her walk away.

The others laugh at him. Eunhyuk runs after the ball, but before he can start another round. They pick up their things and head inside. Junho walks next to Junsu and stops him just before they enter the building.

“Look, bro. I … I’m sorry. I … I’m really mad because you kept this from me and … I mean, I don’t blame your for it, but … The way he said it was just … god, he’s such a bitch.”

Junsu laughs. “No, he’s not. You just have to get to know him. I’m not asking you to be friends with him, but you know … be civil. We’re friends now, so he’ll be over and I’m going to hang out with him.”

“I know. But he’s not your boyfriend.”

“At this point, no. But he could be later. God, I’ve only known the guy for a day. But if he does  
become my boyfriend, it would be better if things weren’t awkward between you two.”

Junho nods. “Yeah. I … I’ll try.”

“Thanks.”

\-----

“Are you coming to my house?” Jaejoong asks as soon as their class is over.

Junsu has spent another hour memorizing Jaejoong’s face. “No. Sorry. Soccer today. I have to think about my brother’s feelings.”

Jaejoong nods. “I understand.”

“Come and play with us.”

Yoochun laughs. “Oh, god. Jaejoong, playing soccer?”

Jaejoong slaps his shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Why not?” Junsu asks.

“Jaejoong can barely walk without tripping over his feet,” Yoochun says and receives another smack on his arm.

“Shut up, Changmin’s little bitch.”

“You bottomed?” Junsu says.

Yoochun grins. “I told him if he could find my condoms on the first try, he could top.”

“God, Chunnie. Just give it to him,” Jae says with a smile. At Junsu’s confused look, Jae explains, “Yoochun has condoms everywhere.”

Junsu laughs. “So you’re not going to come and play soccer.”

“No, I am kind of clumsy,” Jaejoong says and looks away. He chews on his lower lip, where the piercing would be if they weren’t in school.

Junsu smiles. “Come and watch then. I’m going to get to get all sweaty, and I’ll be running around and in shorts and …”

“Sold,” Jaejoong says. “Sounds sexy.”

“And afterwards, you can wipe me down and …”

Yoochun clears his throat and looks pointedly over Junsu’s shoulder.

Junsu turns and sees their teacher. He smiles and blushes and stammers an apology. She smiles back and tells them to get out of her classroom.

Out in the hall, Jaejoong and Yoochun fall into each other, laughing. “Oh, god, did you see her face?”

“Shut up,” Junsu says.

“She is going to have good dreams tonight,” Yoochun says.

He goes to hit Yoochun, but Jaejoong snags his arm and then wraps him up in a hug. There are students all around them, looking at them, curious and a little perturbed, but Junsu doesn’t care. He pulls away from Jaejoong, but only far enough to press a kiss to his lips.

Jaejoong smiles. Their tongue touch and Junsu moans.

"God, that's hot," Yoochun says, "but the whole school doesn't need a show."

Junsu relunctantly breaks away. Junsu knows that this ... thing ... with Jaejoong is still new, still too raw to be called a relationship, but he doesn't care; they're definitely going to fuck again, and go out again, and maybe, just maybe go to Japan together. The thought makes Junsu's heart tighten, because he wants it so badly. He wants to love this beautiful man so much, and he really hopes that Jaejoong wants to, too. It's too soon to declare love, too soon to declare anything, but he wants to show Jaejoong how he feels.

Junsu holds his hand out. Jaejoong looks at it for a moment. The corner of his mouth twitches in a smile. He reaches out and laces their fingers together.

"God," Yoochun says. "You two are so sappy."

"Shut up," Jaejoong says and tries to smack him but misses because his eyes are locked on Junsu's.

Junsu chuckles. “Come on. Let’s go.”


End file.
